All Creatures Great and Small

As my mom pointed out to me the other day, I work just about the only job where I could be killed and consumed by one of my employer's income generators. That isn't to say I fear for my safety -- I never interact with the animals, and a Google search tells me that the last time a visitor was hurt by an animal at this zoo was back in 1992, to a black bear bite -- but nevertheless, I am always reminded that there are dangerous creatures behind the pens. Think San Francisco in 2006.

Last week I was given a memo regarding the procedures in case of an animal escape. It's about what you'd expect: move the visitors to a safe point inside a building, making sure not to give them any specifics but assuring them there's nothing to worry about. And do not, under any circumstances, try to interact with the animal. That is the responsibility of a select few with access to the zoo's arsenal. Interestingly, this memo listed animals on their likelihood of being designated "shoot to kill," with the grizzlies, lions, tigers, snow leopards, and hippo being among the most dangerous animals. Trust me, you don't want the polar bear to escape.

A Starbucks barista doesn't have to worry about this kind of stuff.

And I have

I'm back after a year. Sorry it's been so long, but I was recently recalled to Washington over my controversial comments in Us Weekly.

Where will I take this blog? If possible, I may change its title to a clever, punny one not related to English poets. I may also use it as a place for ruminations of my life and the world. Right now I'm working at the Milwaukee Zoo and also writing a little bit of sci-fi.

Stay tuned.

The Rundown

I couldn't leave this blog without posting one last time, could I? I've been back in the States for about a week now and have decided to compile a little list of statistics about my trip. This idea is in no way stolen from my brother's blog about his trip to Ireland.

My study abroad experience

Days abroad: 161 (including 1 partial day)

Days in UK: 145 (including 3 partial days)

Days in continental Europe: 17 (including 2 partial days)

Earthquakes missed: 2

Favorite foreign accent: New Zealand

Favorite city visited: Rome

Favorite city visited (UK): Edinburgh

Cathedrals visited/seen: 7+

Favorite cathedral: Duomo

Castles visited: 3

Favorite castle: Cardiff

The UK

Classes taken: 4

Classes passed: 4 (hopefully)

Essays written: 4

Times had fish and chips: 3

Yorkshire Pudding: 1

Bangers and Mash: 1

Doner Kebabs: 1

Times said "Oh capital!": 2

Times laughed at for saying "Cheers!": 1

Times said "Cheerio guv'nor!": 0

Henge: Stone

Professional football games attended: 1 (score: 1-1)

Professional football games attended in lifetime: 1

Rainfall total: Incalculable

Sheep total: See above

People from Wisconsin at Lancaster: 7+

My place in Line of Succession to Throne: 13,480,582

Ireland

Years under British rule: ~750, depending on where you start

Preferred drink: Guinness

Price of Corona in Dublin Temple Bar: €6.10

Seconds our group discussed whether to travel to Belfast: 4

Times nearly missed train due to Daylight Saving Time: 1

Would have liked to have seen: Cliffs of Mohr

France

Work week: 35 hours

Strike week: 85 hours

Paintings seen: 13,422

Paintings truly appreciated: 407

Meals baguette served as main component of: Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner

Commute time to Beauvais Airport: 1 1/2 hours

Times actually attempted to speak French to French people: 2

Italy

Governments since 1946: 62

Gaffes of Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi: 0 (source: Silvio Berlusconi)

Cities visited: 3

Churches visited: Countless

Pizza places eaten at: 4

Gelato places eaten at: 2

Times actually attempted to speak Italian to Italian people: 0

Times used Spanish instead to talk to Italians: Enough to get me by

Places I would have liked to have visited but didn't
Isle of Man, Glasgow, Loch Ness, Nottingham/Bingham, Canterbury, Normandy, Germany

But as MacArthur said
I shall return

There be Wales here!*

Actually, there were. At the National Museum & Gallery of Wales.

Last weekend, to cure my desperate need to get out and do something, I travelled to Wales with my friends Cory & Ben. Specifically, we went to the Welsh capital Cardiff, which meant that I can now say I've been to all the capitals of the UK except Belfast. Despite looking fairly close on a map, Cardiff is actually a little more than four hours from Lancaster by train.

Once there, we took advantage of the warm and sunny weather and toured the grounds of Cardiff Castle, which predates 1066 and Uncle William by several decades. In my rankings of Very Old Constructions I've Seen in Europe I'd give it high marks, just above Edinburgh Castle. Among the highlights was the Norman Keep -- a hilltop tower with great views of the city -- and the apartments of the Marquis de Bute, whose exact importance I cannot grasp from Wikipedia but who was no doubt Important Enough to Have a Title. There were also some pretty neat tunnels along the walls of the place.

Our amble around Cardiff consisted mainly of pointing out odd instances of the Welsh language (actually, that was mostly me) and finding places to eat. I wanted to try laverbread balls, which is a Welsh snack made from seaweed, but none of the places we found had any. Instead I settled for Welsh roast beef, as well as my first taste of Yorkshire Pudding (verdict: rather underwhelming, actually).

We stayed overnight and luckily the price of the hostel was lower than what was advertised online. This seemed to be a running theme throughout the trip, seeing as on two occasions the cost of our meals turned out to be less than what was listed on the menu. Thanks, Wales!--it certainly gives you extra points.

On our second day we headed over to the National Museum and Gallery of Wales. I was surprised to find this was more of a natural history museum than a museum showcasing Welsh history, so there were no exhibits on the Welsh hero Gryfffflllyg (pronounced "Aaron") or on the myriad violent Welsh separatist movements. Still, there were some really cool ancient rocks on display and a model of a basking shark, the largest fish to live around Britain.

Besides from a walk through the vast Bute Park, this pretty much describes my time in Wales. The train ride home was even longer, about five hours, but we did get a stopover in Bristol which gave us time to walk around a bit and thus add the city to the list of places in Britain where I've been. Wales is a beautiful place, and I think it would've been a nice place to study abroad had I not picked Lancaster. I certainly would've felt at home, as from the train I saw more cows than I've seen for months.

So what has been going on in Lancaster? I've had two exams these past few weeks, one for Post-Authoritarian Transformation and one for Women Writers. I think Post-Autho went better than WW, if only because for the latter I only had to write one essay-length answer, which means my grade essentially rests on one answer. Man, it's hard converting every 'z' to an 's'... My next, and last, exam is June 10.

It's actually been quite sunny and warm the past week, and not just English Warm--I'm talking about highs in the 70s. I think the weather's supposed to stay nice pretty much up until I leave, so that's a nice bonus. I don't know if I'm going to do anymore major travelling in the two weeks. I definitely need to get to coastal Morecambe (pronounced "Morry Cambie"**), which is a few miles away, and see the beach. I may also go to Leeds, and possibly Hadrian's Wall or Glasgow, where, since it's June, night lasts approximately 17 minutes. I would like to have gone to the Isle of Man, but it doesn't look like that will happen.

Will there be another blog post from England? Only time will tell. In British news stay tuned to June 4, where the British National Party (motto: "Hitler Wasn't Such A Bad Guy") stands a chance of gaining a seat in the European Parliament.

*Thanks to Mom for the title
**Not really. It's "Morcum".

Up!

I've finally gotten around to detailing my final journeys of Easter vacation:

Phillip and I took the train from Rome to Florence very early in the morning, a near-debacle because we first got on the wrong train, and when we rushed through the station to catch the right one, I left one of my bags behind! Luckily, I ran back to grab it and we soon made the correct connection to Firenze.

The city was an absolute treasure. I'd rate the cathedral, known as the Duomo, as having the most beautiful exterior of the cathedrals I've visited--and and I've been to five or six since coming to Europe. Also included on our little excursion was a stop over at the Accademia, the centerpiece of which is Michelangelo's David and quite an impressive piece of work. Angry attendants yelled out "No Foto!", but I took one anyway. There was a literally a line of tourists waiting to hide behind a pillar and take a shot of it; I did and was yelled at, mainly because my flash was on (to my surprise). But it was worth it.

Also visited were the tombs and hideaways of Florence's many famous residents. Didn't go to the Uffizi, but instead trekked up a large hill that overlooked the city. Phillip kept wanting to climb higher and higher--which I'll admit wore me out--but when we got to the absolute top I was amazed at the stunning views provided.

The next day we took a train to Assisi, of St. Francis fame. A quick note: we were going back to our Rome hostel after Assisi, and I wasn't keen about leaving my rolling duffel bag in the hallway of the hostel, which was the only option since no locker was big enough for it. So I brought it with me--a rather foolish thing to do, considering Assisi is on a freakin' hill. Thus, the whole time I was climbing Assisi, I was carrying a cumbersome rolling duffel bag with me. I maintained a positive attitude though--it was Good Friday, I had a six-day stubble, and I was carrying a heavy load up a tall hill. Remind you of anyone?

My burden did not make Assisi any less gorgeous. There was St. Francis' tomb, deep in a basilica and actually quite eerie. There was a medieval stone wall, streets that looked as if they hadn't changed in 500 years, and at the highest point of Assisi, a very old fortress with a 360° view of the surrounding countryside. I can see why it would've made Francis so in touch with nature.

The return home (to England) was uneventful, though my day-before-Easter flight to London was much more expensive than I would've liked.

I'll remember the break as one of the high points of my life.* I only went to a few countries but I'm glad I paced myself--after two weeks I was exhausted. Any more travelling** and my break might have ended up like the one of my friend Sunny--he lost his passport somewhere in Belgium and had to leap through endless bureaucratic hurdles just to get a temporary one. Always keep your passport safe!

One more month left here. I don't plan on going to continental Europe again, but I'll probably do some more travelling around the UK, most likely to Wales. I'll keep you informed.

-------------

*See, my post title has more than one meaning! Haha, I am an English major!
**That's how they spell it here. Spell check does not like it.

Earth-shakin' news

Dang blast it. For the fourth time in my life I've missed feeling an earthquake. There was one that shook Lancashire earlier today, registering about a 3.7. I was awake at the time but didn't feel a thing, even though other people in my building did.

I've missed other ones in Wisconsin, Indianapolis, and Rome (the big earthquake in Italy happened the day before I got there).

SPQR Blues

So. Rome. Where the Pope hangs his hat.

After a quick hop over the Alps, Phillip and I arrived in Rome, so far the warmest city I've been in since October. We were lucky to get a hostel so close to St. Peter's Square, because this allowed us to get up early and beat the tourists (to the basilica, that is). The interior of the building is certainly dazzling--probably the most opulent out of all the churches I've seen so far on my Euro experience. It was also kind of cool to see all of the chairs and speakers set up for Easter, which was that Sunday.

Next stop was the Vatican Museum, the wait for which was probably the longest of my whole break. It was well worth it. I'd consider the Vatican Museum the highlight of my whole trip, as the frescoes and paintings are beyond stunning. There are so many of them--and to think that for hundreds of years they were only for the eyes of the pope and his cardinals! Now, unlike many I talked to I was not disappointed by the Sistine Chapel, though I was frustrated by a few things. For one, it is the last thing you're supposed to see on the tour, so while there are teasing signs pointing to "Cappella Sistina" around every corner, in reality it takes you about an hour to reach it. The actual chapel is fine, though the atmosphere is somewhat diminished by Swiss Guards yelling "No Foto!" and "Silenzio!"

(I had to ask Phillip's friend, who had joined us on this trip, where the [me doing the two fingers touching] was. He pointed. It was directly above my head.)

Oh yeah, and we also got to see the Popemobile Through the Ages exhibit.

Day 2 was our Much Older Rome tour, the centerpiece of which was the Colosseum (for those of you who do not know, the Colosseum was used in ancient times as a petting zoo). Like everything else in Rome, it was breathtaking to behold--after all, it's the freakin' Colosseum. As for the rest of the day, I didn't go into the Roman Forum, but I did see the Spanish Steps, the absolutely huge (and blindingly white) Victor Emmanuel Monument, the Pantheon, and the Italian Parliament. I kept asking where that fountain from Roman Holiday was but no one seemed to know what I was talking about.

In true Italian style, we had lots of pizza. Lots of it. And some of it, I admit, rivaled places in the king of pizza, Chicago. We also ate lots of gelato, and an Easter cake called a Colomba Pasquale.

Next up: the final legs of my journey: Florence and Assisi (visited on Good Friday, no less).